Foreword

12.5% of men in England have a mental health disorder.

NHS Digital

 

That’s more than 1 in every 10 men, which is quite a staggering statistic considering the number of those who actually talk about their struggles.

Before we go any further, I should introduce myself. My name is Doctor Florence Wisdom. I studied Psychology at Manchester University in the glorious North of England back in the early 1990s, where I specialised in Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and I hold full clinical membership with the UKCP (United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy). I am also a member of the BPS (British Psychological Society).

Gentlemen, form an orderly queue!

I’m proud to say that I am a published author (“Words of Wisdom” by Dr Florence Wisdom, 2018), and I currently work as one of the resident therapists at the Longlands Rehabilitation Centre in a peaceful corner of South London. During the past 14 years, I have helped hundreds of patients with various issues, ranging from severe mental health conditions to overwhelming drink and drug addictions.

Celebrity agents keep our clinic’s phone number on speed dial, and I have successfully worked with many big-name stars, covering a wide spectrum of complications. No two cases are the same, and sometimes it is the loud, gregarious ones who are actually struggling the most.

Due to legally binding confidentiality restrictions, I have never discussed details about any of my patients before. However, recently I was allowed to make an exception to this rule.

My patient’s name, Gary Mallet, is possibly not one that you would be instantly familiar with, but in certain celebrity circles, he is an absolute superstar.

Mr Mallet came to me having survived a seriously life-changing, almost-tragic experience, desperately in need of some help.

To aid Gary’s rehabilitation during his stay at our clinic, I encouraged him to keep a journal to recap what we had spoken about in our daily one-to-one sessions. And, if it helped, to document details of thoughts or memories that he might not have felt comfortable discussing face to face. Gary was also fine with me recording the audio of our conversations to support the recovery process.

As painful as it may be, analysing the past can often help us understand how we are feeling in the present. This is an effective strategy that I have used many times during my career, and it wasn’t long before Gary really began to appreciate the benefits of scrutinising his formative years.

After our first few productive sessions, we agreed that I could ask his family and friends to write letters to Gary to lift his spirits and raise a smile.

I hoped that, when the time was right, reading these letters of heartfelt reassurance from loved ones would play a significant role in his rehabilitation, especially the ones from those who might not have appreciated exactly how badly he had been struggling, including the one person he really needed support from but never seemed to
get it.

We must remind ourselves, as Gary gradually discovered, that showing signs of love and emotion doesn’t always come naturally to everyone. We are all programmed differently.

His story instantly captivated me, so I was immensely grateful to be granted legal permission by all parties involved to compile and publish the letters from his loved ones and the transcripts of our therapy sessions, alongside Gary’s journals (sketches and all!) and everything else you’re about to read.

My intention for this book is that it might be relatable to others and become a valuable guide to spotting the mental health red flags that often get missed, possibly even preventing something similar from happening to someone you love. Including you!

I tried my best to compile everything into some kind of logical order that could read like a book and tell his story in a captivating way, so prepare yourself for the lows, the highs, the VERY highs, then down again to the deepest, darkest of the lowest lows possible.

There are also occasional chapters where I explain a few things from my point of view and fill in some blanks.

I must warn you, there are quite a few expletives along the way, too. All the big ones. And some rather risqué stories about his colourful past. Gary obviously felt very comfortable talking to me, and I wanted to keep everything as true to our conversations as possible.

You’ll soon discover, as I did, that he is actually rather an engaging storyteller.

I always let my patients decide the length of our sessions, and with Gary, some days were long and intense, and others were short and emotional. We never had a time limit or target, and there really wasn’t much that didn’t make the final edit, despite some (most) of his stories making me blush.

Thankfully, do not fear: no matter how dark things get, I would not have taken it this far if I didn’t think this was a special story worth telling.

 

Dr Florence Wisdom – October 2022